Cyber Bullies vs Cyber Warriors Forever

THEY’RE HÉÉ-ÈRE…….


If you wish to be a bully slaying Cyber Warrior, the first quality you need is sensitivity to how they operate, to bullying ways. No-brainers in noticing a bully’s surreptitious climb-in are things like a newbee member using his/her first post to insult, harass and provoke the membership, and its accepted beliefs. Think thread titles like:”All Yu OEFOOnuts are ****-Offs, Get A Life effin idiots !!!” I’d like to point out these posters’ difference with (legitimate) skeptics: these individuals are aiming at maximizing an emotional response, eliciting outrage and stress in the readership. Watch for those not actually debating subjects, but mostly shouting/ranting.


Of course the most effective cyber-bully will only PRETEND to be a somewhat crazy and offensive poster, in reality they coolly and intelligently plan to stay narrowly within site rules as long as possible, to ensure the longest run before getting noticed/banned, and an opportunity to attain to the holy grail of bullying: establishing satisfying/long-term bully-victim relationships, maybe carried on even outside the website.


If not ‘crazy’, what the hell is a cyberbully’s problem? Well…most often they’re plain angry. They can be entering a website using a proxy server, hiding a previous Banned-status, with all new user id, out for some pay-back. The chip on their shoulder could alternatively be more general, having been banned often in the past at multiple sites, motivating them to get feisty with (any) site’s staff, seeking to torment the membership and making a mess (by posting offensive language, dreadful grammar and complete nonsense).



THE ALL-ROUND BULLY


In this topic I’m mainly targeting the cyberbully who features the whole package, demonstrating an array of internet nuisances. Here are some useful definitions:



Bullying:


To treat others in an overbearing or intimidating manner.


Trolling:


Posting inflammatory or off-topic messages to provoke emotional responses and/or disrupt discussion.


Flaming:


Using provocative remarks and insults to incite extremely hostile interaction between debaters (=a ‘flame war’).



I suppose you could have a pure bully who only works over time at lording it over others, with an agenda aimed at winning over an entire site to his version of truth. But in my online experience they do tend to progress through all misbehaviors defined overhead. Starting out let’s say agreeable, yet with strong opinions, then getting derisive with folks who oppose their ideas, then exploding in outrage over other members’ perceived stupidity/irrationality, finally playing the victim of (imaginary) attacks! Moderators, and engaged members, looking for cyberbullies can expect to find them spat in the middle of a hot flame war. If you are fair-minded, holding back to give any alleged cyberbully the benefit of the doubt: they are repeat offenders, doing the same thing over and over again. Watch for it: the member taking flames to every forum he/she posts on is the bully.



AND NOW FOR SOME SLAYING TIPS








First beware of pitfalls for normal members who love their site (and try to keep it safe!), and those who wield the unimaginable and terrible POW-HAR of a moderator alike. Don’t go around hunting for everybody coming across as dominant and opinionated, or (worse) as completely WRONG, as likely ‘cyberbullies’, since there are plenty of assertive, strong-minded, mildly annoying, aggressive debaters around who have no mischievous intentions whatsoever. You’ll be an Inquisitor on an unending virtual witch-hunt! (Intense disagreement in fact is a good thing for a forum!!)


My ‘slaying’ recipe (works for ANY member/staff wishing to help here) is to be an engaged poster. Avoid making your posts random and sloppy. Instead start addressing fellow-members and their post content carefully and PERSONALLY, if it fits you by mentioning username and showing respect, being pleasant. The vital element is to show something of who/what you really are, not merely displaying good manners by rote. Why? A cyberbully entering a high quality debate has to work harder to disrupt it, AND will stand out like a sore thumb. Bullies, prefer, need a crowd of confused and angry people to hide in, for camouflage. Being the lone ranter in a focused, intelligent debate is hardly any fun at all. So by being personable and clear in posting, we can add to the quality of the site, and make it less accessible to nasties.


What to do if you come across someone using intimidation, trying to demean other members, working to bludgeon another to give in to their point of view? Many ways this happens, you know. During a disagreement on the reality of UFOs one debater may reveal themselves as a former fighter pilot, using trained observer status to dismiss all other opinions. Apart from ‘expertise’, some claim to receive info directly from advanced ETs (us flat-skulled primates naturally aren’t allowed to disagree!). I’ve heard a debater using serious illness to get special consideration. Or simply the complaint that nobody ever believes them (burdening with guilt anybody who expresses doubt). Here you need to be sensitive to folks playing you, especially your emotions. Ask:”Is this individual manipulating/coercing me and other readers into a specific kind of response?” If yes, switch to bully slaying mode lol.


If answering a (suspected) cyberbully, being personable and pleasant are the weaponry I recommend. He/she NEEDS you to flame, so you deny him his aims by keeping pleasantly cool. Next is addressing a cyberbully’s arguments as calmly and rationally as possible. Don’t hesitate to ask them wrathful “I am the LORD your God”-contributors for a divine miracle/evidence of omniscience, have some fun with these types. There’s absolutely no need to be shy about addressing the obnoxious behavior, the precise manner of bullying this person employs. If ‘put downs’ are their method of preference, just bluntly state that’s the action you observed, you get the feeling they act in a manner demeaning to other members. This decloaks a bully, unpacks his technique, leaving the stalking predator nowhere to hide: their game is up.








There you have it, imo all Ufocasebookers have the power to assist in scouring the site for cyberbullies, and show them up for what they really are: people who seek to do us harm, and disrupt the discussion of our favorite subject UFOs. Once bullies are exposed, Moderators can do their thing, take’em out, whatever it is that moderators do to give them the WELCOME they so richly deserve…

The above actually is an old thread I entered on Mac's UFO News in response to the awful report about fourteen-year-old Hannah Smith, of Lutterworth, Leicestershire, England, a precious young lady who was found to have committed suicide, hanging herself after suffering prolonged trolling, harrassment and cyberbullying at social networking site Ask.fm., before that it was a topic at the previous incarnation of our beloved UFO Casebook, now entered here anew. For as long as ruthless minds use violent psychology to prey on the vulnerable and young (which like totally p's me off) I wholeheartedly invite anyone, old or young, to read the info in this topic, use it to fight back against bullying, be a Cyber Warrior forever.



purr


[topic previously published as Way of the Bully]